Dominos Pizza complaint: Won’t deliver, won’t explain, ignoring orders

My complaint:

I’m an old woman. I’m stuck in the house. I’m HUNGRY. I ordered from Domino’s YESTERDAY. They never delivered my order. They never called me to explain. And they refuse to answer their phone. For the last half hour since I called to complain I’ve been listening to their stupid ads.

I assume the people at Domino’s are part of the Boomer Remover movement. They just want old people to stay in their houses and starve to death. I will never order from a business that will just shrug off old people. No more Domino’s orders from me! Jerks!

Suggested solution:

APOLOGIZE! Give me my order and the next five FREE! Try giving a crap for a change, dammit!!!